Waiting
by but-can-you-fly
Summary: Hiccup proposes to Astrid, and in matters like this, timing is everything.
1. Waiting

It had taken three hours exactly to set it all up, not counting time at the forge. Hiccup and Toothless surveyed their handiwork proudly. Punched into the side of a mountain was the cave in which they stood. In that cave was a pedestal; and on that pedestal was the finest work of art Hiccup had ever forged. It was an axe. For Astrid, of course, but not meant for war. It had a finely sculpted leather handle moulded just for Astrid's hands. Gold streaked all the way up the shaft until it reached the blades, where the gold strands interwove into intricate patterns. In the pommel was a single, sparkling sapphire that Hiccup had chiseled and glazed until it matched the colour of Astrid's eyes. But more important was the writing etched into the shaft of the axe. A love letter, of sorts. Secret words for Astrid to carry in her heart until all the world had crumbled to dust.

Hiccup had finely tuned a script to follow for how this was going to go, but now that it came to it he realised how silly it was. How silly of him. All plans went out the window when it came to Astrid anyway. His brain was always so absorbed with appreciating everything about her that it had no resources to allocate to anything else.

It was late afternoon . The golden sun shone directly into this little cave and threw the axe into sparkling splendour. It was almost blinding to look at.

Just like Astrid, Hiccup mused.

As if on cue, he heard Stormfly's screech. Both he and Toothless turned to the cave opening. Hiccup's pulse quickened and his mouth went dry. What was he supposed to say? How was this supposed to go?

He would find out soon enough. Stormfly swooped into the cave opening and landed lightly, shaking the soreness from her muscles. Astrid slid off her back and landed just as lightly.

As Stormfly squawked and greeted Toothless, Astrid strode up to Hiccup. She smiled. "Hey, Hiccu- "

It was then she noticed the axe at the back of the cave. "What…what is that?" Astrid said, agape at the brilliance of whatever it was that lay ahead of her.

Hiccup gave her a knowing smile. "Why don't you take a look?"

Slowly, she stepped up to the pedestal, occasionally shielding her eyes from the reflected light.

Hiccup swallowed. The time was soon. He wiped his sweaty palms off on his flight suit.

Astrid gently lifted the axe up and eyed it. Unabashed awe was all over her face. "Hiccup, what is this?" She turned around and proffered the axe. "What is this?"

Oh, Gods. Here we go. No turning back now. "An engagement present," said Hiccup. His smile was strained now, despite his attempts to hide his nerves.

Astrid blinked. "What?" she said dumbly.

"You know." Hiccup sauntered forwards, gesturing with his hands. "I…"

"You…?" Astrid trailed.

"I want to marry you," Hiccup said, letting out a big breath after he did so.

Astrid blinked again. She took a small step backwards. "I, " she cleared her throat, "I don't know what to say."

"You could say yes," Hiccup replied, his smile more relaxed and earnest now.

Astrid took another step back, looking between the axe and its maker. "This is too beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." Hiccup still smiled at her, but he felt the truth in his heart. She looked like a cornered dragon looking for a way out. He subtly stepped to the side. If she wanted to do a runner, he wasn't going to stop her.

But Astrid didn't run. She simply stood there, axe in hand. Hiccup hadn't even seen her read what he'd written on it for her. Tears welled in her eyes. "Hiccup…"

He didn't respond. He felt a cold coil of pain twist through his heart, strangling it. Suffocating it. He tried to draw breath. To his surprise his lungs still drew in their full capacity. He let the air out in a shaky breath. "In any case, it's still a present," he said.

"I can't accept this," Astrid said softly. A tear fell from her left eye. It traced the gentle contour of her face all the way down to her jaw where it hung for the barest moment, before falling to the floor.

"It's a gift. Keep it, or I'll melt it down for metal." Hiccup's voice was stronger than he expected. He turned away before she could see the tears forming in his own eyes too. "Toothless, we're going."

The two dragons had stopped chittering with each other when they had noticed the shift. They had felt the cold gust that swept in on a windless day, and each had been keenly waiting for a sign of trouble. They were friends. It wouldn't be nice if their riders weren't.

Hiccup mounted Toothless.

The night fury looked over his shoulder and crooned at Astrid and Stormfly.

"Let's go, bud."

Toothless warbled at him. He didn't want them to leave it like this. He just couldn't.

"I said, let's **go** , bud."

Toothless snorted and shook Hiccup off his back, who yelped and tumbled onto the rocky floor.

"Ow." Hiccup rubbed the back of his head. He looked for a moment like his normal self with that sheepish expression on his face. And then it was gone, like a candle in rain.

Astrid let out a little chuckle at his clumsiness before she, too, remembered the situation. "Hiccup, I love you," she blurted. She hoped to pour everything she felt into those words. They were true, after all.

He refused to meet her eye. "I know."

Astrid snorted. "'I know'? What, are you trying to be a badass?" She tried to pull her mouth into a playful grin.

Hiccup threw her a dark look, and without another word he stood and stalked to the cave entrance.

Astrid rushed forward. "Come on, Hiccup. It was just a joke, I was- " She stopped just short of him. "I'm not- " She thumbed the axe handle idly. Absently she noted how _right_ it felt in her hands.

And then he was gone. Toothless yowled after him, not having forgotten his tail fin's current settings. He still needed Hiccup to fly. And for more besides.

" -ready," Astrid finished lamely. To thin air as well. She watched him in his flight suit glide off in the distance. Then, something in her broke, and all the tears she had saved up came pouring out without shame or relent. She cursed her lack of eloquence. And Hiccup's timing. Gods damn it all. Loki couldn't have set it up better if he tried.


	2. Hoping

The first thing Astrid did when she returned to Berk was ask her parents for some paper. The Hoffersons had taken care to teach their daughter how to read and write, given how useful and important it could be, but she had never made a habit out of it. Her days were better spent in Berk's forests alone, training and testing the limits of her abilities. Except nowadays she always had Stormfly with her, of course.

This request caught Astrid's parents unawares. Both because she never asked for that, and that they were just waiting on the day that Berk's chief would propose to her.

However, they saw her eyes when she came home. They were pink and puffy, and had an almost deadened quality to them. They had asked her what happened. She didn't answer.

Now she sat alone on the floor of her room, with paper in front and a candle to the side, valiantly keeping the night at bay. No one in Berk was awake but her. She held a charcoal pencil she'd gotten from Hiccup in her right hand aloft from the paper. It was infuriating. She simply couldn't write any speech so eloquently as Hiccup. She had no idea how to word it all. Nothing seemed good enough. All her prior attempts lay crumpled at the side of her bed, taunting her with their imperfection.

She grit her teeth. She needed to make him understand perfectly. Clearly. Without confusion. Yes, she wasn't ready to be a wife yet. Yes, she wasn't ready to give her life up for household duties. Though she loved him more than she knew how to say, why did he have to propose _now_?

He was still her sweet, little Hiccup, bumbling through things. She just wished he realised that it changed nothing. To her it was obvious she was never going to marry anyone else; it wasn't a 'not ever'; simply a 'not now'.

Fuming silently, she threw the charcoal pencil away, and a pang of guilt struck her immediately. That was one of Hiccup's pencils he'd made with those gentle hands. She buried her face in her hands. What could she do? Who could help?

And then she remembered Toothless. Astrid had flown him back home after Hiccup had flown away. He had been distraught. Not just because of how Hiccup had left, but it also seemed to be because of how things had been left between them, between her and Hiccup. For the sake of their relationship, she didn't think he would mind her idea.

By the Gods, she was going to pin him down and make him listen to her. Who cared if she couldn't write a speech to save her life? Her words were going to sink in just the way everything else worked out for her - with sheer strength of will. Besides, when it came to Hiccup, nothing ever stuck to script. He was just too distracting. Distracted, she meant. Same thing.

Astrid stood up and donned her hood - but she left her axe; she wouldn't even come close to needing it - and made her way to Stormfly. This was happening _now_.


	3. Fearing

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and feedback and everything, I really do appreciate it! If you like what you read, let me know! If you have suggestions or thoughts, let me know; I read it all and do take your thoughts into consideration. Doesn't mean I'll always do what you want me to, but I always think about it!**

Hiccup knew she would try to come by tonight. Astrid was always the persistent type of person, and for the first time he was bothered by it.

He had returned home, stomping through the door with a dark look on his face. His mother asked what was wrong. He didn't answer.

And the first thing he'd done as soon as Astrid had flown Toothless back was apologise profusely to his friend. He made sure to be explicitly clear it wasn't _him_ he was running from earlier. He pointedly ignored the other person there. Her words went right past him as if they were the white noise of a petulant child, and she had decided to take the message. But she would be back. He knew how she did things. Unfortunately for her, he wasn't in the mood. Not right now at any rate. He would sleep somewhere else tonight, and return to Berk before tomorrow morning even started.

He wished he could run away off the edge of the map like he used to, but now he was the chief; and though he normally loved being in a position to lead and help people, the mantle weighed a little heavy on him right now.

And so he would run away, but just for a few hours. Just enough time to get away from _her_.

He wordlessly strapped on his riding leathers and donned his mask. He packed no bag. Mounting up astride Toothless on the soft grass behind his home, he made no request. Toothless already knew. The dragon crouched, spread his wings, and then shot up into the sky.

Hiccup remained low on Toothless' back, allowing Toothless to slip seamlessly through the air. He refused to think about anything and simply held on tight.

It didn't take long for them to reach the cloud level. There wasn't much on a night like this. Only a few thin wisps were scattered throughout the sky, visible from the reflected moonlight.

There was the moon and all the stars above, strewn above the two friends on a canvas of unfathomable depth. They had tried to go higher once, tried to just get the barest touch, but Hiccup soon had trouble breathing and Toothless' wings found less and less purchase on the air currents until they both came tumbling back down to earth. The heavens remained so close, but just out of reach.

It then occurred to Hiccup how easy it would be to run away. He knew he was never going to do it, but just understanding he had the ability…it was strangely liberating. It meant that if he stayed on Berk, it was his choice. If he went back and remained the chief, it was because he chose to. No one could make him. And if he went back to face Astrid, to face all those coiled-up feelings, it would be because it was up to him.


	4. Watching

Astrid watched him as he strode down the hill from his house. The sunlight cast a bright, clear light over everything, and the wind swirled and swept the grass in its wake.

The sun threw Hiccup's face into sharp contrast, and the wind whipped his hair in a little flurry on his head. His jaw was set and his eyes sharp as he strode down the hill, looking every bit the chief that his father used to be; and Toothless prowled next to him, as graceful and dignified as his own position demanded.

And for all that he was still just as stubborn as a mule, Astrid thought. He needed to listen to what she had to say. Despite how close they were, she didn't share many details about her home life. He knew that she and her parents had a close and pleasant relationship.

What he didn't realise, however, was that both he and her were in their early twenties now. Her parents were beginning to put the pressure on her to be a mother, and she did not feel even close to ready.

It started as a just a few little questions here and there. Then the questions grew more insistent. Then her parents grew perplexed and confused, and wondered if there was a problem between them. There was not. And then they began to lose their patience.

They couldn't negotiate a marriage through Hiccup's parents; one was dead and the other was so intent on making it up to her son that she wouldn't do anything until he gave the say-so. They would have had to confront Hiccup himself, and they all knew his tendency to chase the wind in the face of personal strife. True, he always came back, but he would never do anything unless he chose it for himself.

That couple was too caught up in their romance in Astrid's parents' opinion. They were still Vikings; there were occupational hazards, and they had to ensure their bloodline continued. And so, in the face of her trepidation, the only bargaining chip Astrid had was Hiccup's lack of proposal. Now that she had a shiny, glowing axe to show for it, she had no excuses left.

She still didn't feel ready for it, but she didn't want to upset her parents either, and since Hiccup had inadvertently forced the issue by proposing, she had to talk through everything. With everyone. No more putting it off.

She squared her shoulders and strode towards him. "Hiccup, we need to talk."

He stopped when she blocked his path. "I'm sorry, Astrid, but I've got a land dispute to settle in the Great Hall." He stepped around her and walked on.

"Why, what's the land fighting about now?" Astrid called to his back.

Both man and dragon stopped to look at her, exasperation clear on their faces. But when Hiccup turned to go, Astrid glimpsed the beginnings of a wry smile on his face.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading and (if you're following) keeping up with the story! If you liked it (or didn't) please leave a review! It's always very motivating to see what people think, which will make the next update will come faster. *wink* *nudge* Anyway, till next time!**


	5. Missing

**A/N: whoops, late update :P Life happens, but fanfic goes on!**

It was dusk. Hiccup, dredged by weary contemplation, trudged to the door of the chief's hall. He still hardly thought of it as his.

Toothless padded beside him offering nuzzles of support, noting the haggard face and dark circles under the eyes of his rider.

Neither said anything.

Hiccup pushed open the door. Burnt orange sunlight bled past man and dragon. It cast the house in a blaze of light and shadow. And it was empty.

There was no fire in the hearth. There was no smell of overcooked meat. There was an Astrid-shaped hole in the heart of this house, and it yawned, wide and gaping. It invited all sorts of fears and demons, the likes of which Hiccup hadn't known since before he met Toothless.

But most of all there was the hurt. He knew her. She had to have had her reasons. But it hurt. She wasn't here, and he didn't know why. All he knew was that she didn't want to marry him. What should he make of that?

There was also another emptiness that echoed deep in his hall. This was a quieter one, more subtle, and woven throughout the entire house. It was the absence of carved wooden figurines by the hearth. It was the lack of growls and grumbles as Skullcrusher argued with Toothless over fish portions. It was the missing axe that hung on the wall, and that counted for double.

Who would help him now? His mother? She hid from him for twenty years. As much as he wanted a close relationship with her, he couldn't bring himself to open up fully to her. He didn't think she deserved it. Not yet.

So what was he to do?

Hiccup sighed heavily and slumped into the chair by the hearth. "Hey, bud, could you- "

Toothless lit the fire.

A fond smile tugged at Hiccup's lips. He scratched Toothless under his chin. "Thanks, bud."

The dragon curled around the chair, enjoying the warmth of the fire close by. He looked up at Hiccup and warbled a question.

Hiccup thought for a moment, and then: "I don't know, Toothless. I mean, I love her, but I would have hoped she would have trusted me earlier with whatever made her say no."

Toothless crooned.

"Yeah, I know she does. Just not enough, apparently." A bitter edge tainted his voice.

Another warble.

"This morning? I'm not sure. She could just be hoping we could pretend nothing happened. Act as normal." Hiccup snorted.

No reply. Hiccup looked down to see Toothless' big, green eyes staring up at him.

"What? What is it?"

Toothless nudged and nuzzled Hiccup before resting his head on Hiccup's lap.

Hiccup stroked Toothless' head and sighed. "Yeah. I just hope she's a bigger than that."


	6. Talking

Night had just fallen, and the moon hung low in the sky. It cast its narrow gaze over Berk, eyeing beadily what was to come. It made Astrid sweat.

She tread through the grass up to the Chief's residence with the comforting weight of her axe strapped to her back. Not that she was going to use it. It steadied her spirit more than anything else. Fastened her courage.

Astrid knew he'd had those land disputes to settle today so she waited until sunset, and then waited some more, just to make sure. To be completely honest, she had asked for the day off from Berk guard today to note Hiccup's whereabouts throughout the day. She wasn't stalking him, despite what Stormfly was insinuating at dinner. She was just being thorough. Astrid wasn't going to let him slip through her fingers this time.

He had to know.

As she reached the front door her breath caught in her throat. Suddenly she didn't want to do this. Is this what Hiccup had felt when Stoick had told him he'd be the new chief? She wasn't sure she could do it.

Nevertheless, Astrid set her jaw, raised her knuckles, and rapped on the dark, wooden door.

One moment passed. Then another.

Astrid shifted from foot to foot. This was taking too long.

Another moment passed.

Maybe she should knock again? Astrid raised her knuckles. She was about to knock when the door swung open to reveal Valka, who lit up with a warm smile on seeing Astrid.

She checked over her shoulder before saying in a hushed voice: "Astrid! Good to see you, lass. How have you been?"

Astrid tried to smile back, but it came out more as a grimace.

Valka nodded knowingly. "I'll get him for you. By the neck of his shirt if I must." She turned and disappeared up the stairs.

Astrid heard muffled voices through the upstairs floorboards. Two of them. She let out a breath. He was here. She clenched and unclenched her hands. Hurry up, Thor damn it, Hiccup.

As if by command, Hiccup appeared at the top of the staircase. She caught his eye, and saw his brow furrow slightly and his lips purse. Astrid refused to show her fear.

"Hiccup," she said tightly. She cleared her throat. "Hiccup," she said again more clearly, "we need to talk."

"Yeah, we do," he said as he stepped down the stairs towards her.

With a several more steps he was standing right in front of Astrid. Almost close enough to touch. But she didn't. Instead she said, "I have to tell you something. And I should have said it far earlier."

Hiccup nodded. "Go on, then."

Astrid swallowed. "Um." Her voice wavered. "If…if we get married we'll have to have children."

Hiccup looked at her askance. "No, we won't. Why do you say that?"

"No, I mean my parents want me to."

"Have you told them you're not ready?"

"Of course. But they say I have a duty to continue my bloodline."

"Duty?"

"Yeah, you know. And they said once you propose I have no excuse not to…you know…" Astrid trailed off, blushing.

A red tinge touched Hiccup's cheeks as well, but otherwise he remained stoic.

Just like his dad, Astrid mused. "Well…are you going to say something?"

"Maybe you should come inside." Hiccup stood aside.

Astrid tentatively walked in. She glanced at Hiccup. When she saw he was already looking at her, she looked away.

Hiccup shut the door behind her.

Astrid fidgeted with her hands. "So, are you going to say something?"

"I don't have a problem with you not being ready for that. Hel, *I'm* not ready to have children yet either. Why should I expect you to be?"

"Oh." Astrid smiled tentatively. "Yay?"

"Not yay." The smile vanished from Astrid's face. "The problem is that you didn't tell me about this situation with your parents earlier. Why?"

"It wasn't even an issue until you proposed. Why should I have made it into one?"

"Because you should have realised I was going to at some point, and that this," Hiccup gestured to the both of them, "was bound to happen if you didn't." Hiccup buried his face in his hands and sighed. Then he looked at her. "We're a team, Astrid. You're supposed to talk to me."

Astrid was silent for a few moments, and then, quietly: "I'm really sorry, Hiccup."

Hiccup didn't respond for a while. He had one hand on his hip and the other stroked his stubble; he seemed to be thinking. Hard. Eventually he said, "Do you get why not sharing with me was a bad idea?"

"Yes, I do, I swear. But please understand why I did it. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It was a rookie dragon rider move," Hiccup smirked, "but still, I get it."

Astrid smiled tentatively. "So, are we good?"

"First, swear to me you'll tell me about these sort of things in future," he said intensely. "We _always_ share these things with each other. _Always._ "

Astrid nodded. "Yes, I will. I promise."

"And second," Hiccup knelt on one knee, "will you just marry me already, you gronklehead?"

Astrid sniggered. "Fishlegs won't like that you said that."

Hiccup shrugged. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Astrid put a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. "Says the man who just scolded me for withholding information."

Hiccup grinned smugly. "Yep. The very same."

Astrid laughed again. "Yes. Yes, of course I'll marry you, Hiccup. But," worry crossed her features, "what should we say to my parents?"

Hiccup stood and held both her hands in his own. "I can handle it."

"Hold on, why just you?"

Hiccup grinned again. "Because I'm their chief. What can they possibly say to me?"

Astrid snorted. "Oh, of course, o great Dragon Master. How could I forget?" She raised a hand to her forehead as if to swoon.

Hiccup nodded. "There we go. Now go home, we should both sleep."

Astrid stepped back and bit her lip nervously. "Ok. But I want to talk to my parents with you. They're my parents, after all."

"Yeah, of course you can. Now shoo." Hiccup gently pushed her out of his house and slammed the door behind her.

Astrid stood on his doorstep, nonplussed. She opened and close her mouth a few times. "That dragon is a terrible influence," she muttered and walked away, grumbling along the lines of, "stupid dragon master," all the way home.

 **A/N: Ok, first up, there are some reviews going on about how Hiccup should be far more angry. There's already a review on the last chapter that goes through why he wouldn't be in four short, but lovely, paragraphs. But I'm still going to say it myself: it's not in Hiccup's character to hold grudges for long. His best friend (Toothless' physical body, at least) murdered his father and Hiccup forgave him because he** ** _understood_** **. Similar sort of thing in this case. Hiccup understands, and because he's able to understand others, he can be compassionate to them. It's why he was able to befriend Toothless in the first place - he understood the dragon was afraid, and so couldn't bring himself to kill Toothless despite the immense personal gain that would follow. It's the centre of the entire franchise - understanding and compassion over ignorance and fear. I won't ever alter Hiccup's character for the sake of anyone's revenge fantasies.**

 **Second up, this is my first completed fic that isn't a one-shot, so woohoo \o/. There may be some roughness around the edges of this fic, but I hope y'all had fun anyway. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
